i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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