I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
