We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
