if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
