If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
