How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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