Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
