I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize