Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
