no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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