it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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