Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
