So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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