Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
