: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
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