Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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