if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
