She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
