Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I need water and some morals
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize