so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
