So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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