I was born with a shot glass in my hand
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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