Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
