i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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