I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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