No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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