half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
