I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
