Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
