Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
