i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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