Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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