Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
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