Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
there is glitter all over my balls
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
