Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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