she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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