I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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