we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
