About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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