i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just blew my weed a kiss
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
