i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
