I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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