Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
