also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
