I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
