Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
