I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
