I wanna bring you to show and tell
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize
