I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
look no pants
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
