life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
