I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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