i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
