I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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