you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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