Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
