you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize