She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize