If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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